


Friendship Is Magic

by CrystallineGreen



Series: Group Chats [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links (Video Game), Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga), Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side of Dimensions
Genre: ALL CAPS, Adoption, Advice, All The Dollars, All The Ships, Alter Egos, Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Humor, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Romance, Awkwardness, Bad Advice, Bad Decisions, Bad Jokes, Bad Puns, Bakura might be evil still, Bakura's Fan Club, Ballin', Behavior Modification, Between Rage and Serenity, Blue Eyes, Blue-Eyes White Dragon - Freeform, Brothers, Canonical Character Death, Comfort Food, Cosplay, Cowboys & Cowgirls, DAMMIT BAKURA, Dancing, Dark Side of Dimensions, Dark Side of Dimensions Spoiler, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Dick Jokes, Dogs, Drug Use, Drugs Made Them Do It, Duel Monsters, Duel Monsters Anime, Everybody no, Evil, Evil Plans, Evil Twins, F/M, Father Figures, Fish Puns, Fishing, Food, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Fools, Formerly evil Marik, Friendship, Friendship is Magic, Friendship/Love, Give It A Rest, Group chat, Guest Stars, Guns, Help, Hostshipping - Freeform, Humor, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Idiots, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Inappropriate Humor, Innocence, Innuendo, Inspired by Fanfiction, Kaiba's Millions And Millions Of Money, KaibaCorp, Leave Atem Alone, Loss of Innocence, Love, Love Polygons, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, MELT ME RA, Marik Must Decipher The Ancient Rap Scriptures, Marik no, Men Are Like Cats, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Millennium Ring, Mocking, Money, Morons, Multiple Puberty, Mutually Unrequited, No means no but also no means yes, Orphans, Parody, Peachshipping, Picnics, Pirates, Polarshipping - Freeform, Pole Dancing, Post-Ceremonial Duel, Post-Dark Side Of Dimensions, Post-Duel Monsters, Puberty, Puns & Word Play, Rage, Recreational Drug Use, References to Drugs, Regret, Relationship Advice, Restraining order, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Friendship, Salt, Salty Yugi, Sarcasm, Sausagefest, Self-Denial, Sennen Items | Millennium Items, Sex Drugs and Rock and Roll, Sexual Humor, Siblings, Silly, Sisters, So Wrong It's Right, Social Experiments, Star Wars - Freeform, Star Wars References, Stupidity, Suggested Pairings, Swearing, Tea is Seto's new duelling rival apparently, Teen Angst, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Littlest Cowboy, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Time Travel, Unrequited Hate, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Vexshipping, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?, Wow, azureshipping, cool story bro, idiots with guns, multi-chapter, pimping, pimps, puns, quotes, references, revolutionshipping, screw the rules, short jokes, suggested romance, trading places, urban dictionary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:20:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 14,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23635225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrystallineGreen/pseuds/CrystallineGreen
Summary: Yugi and Téa create a group chat for their friends…and Kaiba.
Relationships: Atem/Mazaki Anzu | Tea Gardner, Bakura Ryou/Mazaki Anzu | Tea Gardner, Jounouchi Katsuya | Joey Wheeler/Kujaku Mai | Mai Valentine, Kaiba Seto/Mazaki Anzu | Tea Gardner, Mazaki Anzu | Tea Gardner & Mutou Yuugi, Mazaki Anzu | Tea Gardner/Mutou Yuugi, Mazaki Anzu | Tea Gardner/Yami Yuugi
Series: Group Chats [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2127441
Comments: 26
Kudos: 50





	1. Shrimp Rage

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story in the vein of my group chat fic, _Friends_. I’m having such fun with that one and decided to write another – this time for _Yu-Gi-Oh!_
> 
> Although the main group will be Yugi, Téa, Joey, Tristan, Bakura and Kaiba, I do want to have other characters as guests in chapters.

**_Yugi_ ** _created the group **My Salt**_

**_Yugi_ ** _added **Téa** , **Joey** , **Tristan** , **Bakura** and **Kaiba** to the group_

**Téa:** no dont call it that

 **Yugi:** fine

**_Yugi_ ** _changed the group **My Salt** to **Friendship Is Magic**_

**Tristan:** christ change it back

 **Bakura:** second

 **Téa:** this feels sarcastic

 **Yugi:** thats because it is

 **Kaiba:** what the fuck is this hellscape

 **Yugi:** wait thats a much better name

 **Yugi:** thanks kaiba

 **Kaiba:** fuck off

 **Bakura:** lovely

 **Téa:** kaiba play nice

 **Kaiba:** dont want to

 **Téa:** yugi dont change the group name anymore

 **Téa:** friendship is magic stays

 **Yugi:** aw

 **Joey:** what even is this

 **Yugi:** it was supposed to be somewhere to unsalt

 **Bakura:** you need us all for that

 **Yugi:** yes

 **Téa:** you have salt

 **Tristan:** inner salt

 **Joey:** 70 percent salt

 **Tristan:** 70 percent salt water

 **Bakura:** kaiba flavoured salt water

 **Yugi:** what

 **Kaiba:** what

 **Tristan:** true

 **Joey:** whys the douchebag here anyway

 **Téa:** he was invited

 **Tristan:** but why is he here

 **Téa:** ugh

 **Kaiba:** good question

 **Kaiba:** kick the mutt

 **Bakura:** i think he means you kaiba

 **Kaiba:** you dont say

 **Téa:** no kicking

 **Yugi:** what she said

 **Bakura:** you sound whipped

 **Tristan:** like fish

 **Joey:** salt water fish

 **Yugi:** what

 **Kaiba:** my ears have been assaulted enough

 **Kaiba:** can i leave now

 **Téa:** no

 **Kaiba:** ugh fine

 **Yugi:** tea am i whipped

 **Téa:** oh god

 **Kaiba:** if you have to ask

 **Téa:** what are you trying to do to me

 **Téa:** why are these the questions you ask

 **Yugi:** because i know how to duel and everything else seems irrelevant

 **Bakura:** apart from whipping

 **Yugi:** yes

 **Yugi:** wait no

 **Yugi:** bakura what the hell

 **Bakura:** you know a quick reaction time means your answer was instinctive

 **Yugi:** it doesnt

 **Kaiba:** hes right you know

 **Yugi:** kaiba no shut up

 **Tristan:** youre into that kinky stuff huh

 **Yugi:** i am not

 **Joey:** explain the leather and collars

 **Yugi:** i like them

 **Bakura:** sounds suspicious to me

 **Yugi:** uggggggggggghhhhhhhh

 **Yugi:** i wear it because i want to look cool okay

 **Kaiba:** that only works when youre not a shrimp

 **Yugi:** im not a shrimp

 **Bakura:** it doesnt come across

 **Yugi:** my shrimpness

 **Bakura:** no coolness

 **Joey:** hate to agree yug

 **Yugi:** im cool

 **Yugi:** tea you think im cool right

 **Téa:** please stop asking

 **Yugi:** but

 **Téa:** im not answering that

 **Tristan:** you have a problem

 **Yugi:** i dont have a problem

 **Kaiba:** no you have many

 **Yugi:** I SAID I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM

 **Kaiba:** shrimp rage

 **Téa:** okay enough for one day i think hes gonna hyperventilate

 **Joey:** BREATHE

 **Bakura:** get your paper bag out yugi


	2. Restraining Order

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The conversation that follows is inspired by _The Dark Side Of Dimensions_ and Kaiba’s whole obsessive mission with seeing Atem again.
> 
> You have to admit that Kaiba is also a bit of a dick in that movie.
> 
> I mean more than usual.

**Yugi:** theres a restraining order

**Yugi:** atem says to sign it and leave him alone

**Tristan:** howd you get that

**Yugi:** magic

**Téa:** seriously yugi how

**Bakura:** you time travelled

**Yugi:** yes

**Bakura:** how

**Yugi:** okay kaiba has a time machine

**Tristan:** youre shittin me

**Yugi:** i shit you not

**Joey:** lemme have a go

**Kaiba:** hell no

**Kaiba:** and i am not signing it

**Kaiba:** its ridiculous

**Yugi:** it also says your time machine is being confiscated

**Kaiba:** no

**Yugi:** kaiba

**Kaiba:** no

**Yugi:** okay ill let you keep the time machine if i can have a kc blimp with yugi is the king of games in neon that flies around domino

**Téa:** sounds like a good deal

**Bakura:** id take it kaiba

**Kaiba:** fuck off no

**Yugi:** but you can afford it

**Kaiba:** i can also afford a country but i dont want one

**Téa:** kaiba thats a lie

**Kaiba:** true that is a lie

**Yugi:** so i can have my blimp

**Kaiba:** NO

**Joey:** so you mean to tell me yug went back in time usin kaibas time machine wrote up a restrainin order with the pharaoh then came back and now kaibas gotta sign

**Yugi:** yep

**Kaiba:** hes quick

**Joey:** shut up

**Joey:** but thats awesome

**Joey:** can i have one for kaiba to sign too

**Yugi:** yeah but without time travel

**Joey:** aw no fair

**Kaiba:** i regret not going back and erasing your existence

**Joey:** took the words outta my mouth

**Bakura:** youre like a supervillain sometimes

**Kaiba:** you would know

**Bakura:** that was uncalled for

**Yugi:** not really

**Bakura:** im weird not evil

**Joey:** true

**Tristan:** both

**Téa:** yugi did you say hi to atem from me

**Tristan:** careful hell get a restraining order for you too

**Téa:** hey

**Yugi:** tea

**Joey:** ouch

**Kaiba:** get one for her

**Kaiba:** but why do i get one

**Tristan:** its not obvious

**Joey:** because youre an obnoxious arrogant prick and nobody likes you

**Kaiba:** i didnt go back in time to be liked

**Kaiba:** i went there to duel

**Téa:** kaiba why dont you just duel yugi

**Téa:** theyre basically the same person

**Kaiba:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Kaiba:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Kaiba:** HAHA

**Kaiba:** ha

**Kaiba:** tell me another joke

**Téa:** wow

**Yugi:** okay im changing the restraining order

**Yugi:** swapping kaiba for the priest

**Joey:** im totally backin this

**Tristan:** me too

**Téa:** so are we swapping yugi and kaiba for the pharaoh and priest

**Joey:** tea

**Bakura:** im backing that

**Yugi:** no dont leave me in ancient egypt with him

**Kaiba:** at least id be legally allowed to murder you

**Bakura:** you could murder and probably get away with it now

**Kaiba:** ah that is true

**Joey:** dont put ideas in his damn mind

**Tristan:** you basically own domino

**Kaiba:** i do

**Yugi:** but youre still not the king of games

**Kaiba:** i have assassins on speed dial

**Yugi:** that wont change anything

**Yugi:** youll still have to duel me and win to be king of games

**Kaiba:** if i win do i still have to sign

**Yugi:** yes

**Kaiba:** dammit

**Kaiba:** okay do the swap

**Yugi:** ill have to redo the entire restraining order and have it notarised

**Kaiba:** im not winning this whatever i do am i

**Yugi:** nope


	3. Love Polygons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little cameos from Marik and Ishizu in this chapter.

**Bakura:** feel better yugi

**Yugi:** no i dont

**Kaiba:** good

**Téa:** kaiba can you please dial it down for one minute

**Kaiba:** no

**Téa:** pretty please

**Kaiba:** well okay

**Kaiba:** but only because its you

**Yugi:** wait what

**Joey:** uh oh

**Yugi:** what do you mean by that

**Téa:** hes just winding you up

**Téa:** right kaiba

**Kaiba:** no i meant every word

**Bakura:** do you love him back

**Téa:** what

**Tristan:** no she loved the pharaoh

**Yugi:** wait a sec

**Bakura:** isnt that necrophilia

**Téa:** oh my god no it isnt

**Téa:** what is wrong with you bakura

**Kaiba:** whats right with him

**Joey:** i think it was one sided tea

**Tristan:** he was in love with duelling

**Téa:** we didnt actually ask so maybe it isnt

**Kaiba:** you should ask him

**Yugi:** you cant hes in the afterlife

**Kaiba:** i know

**Tristan:** you saying what i think you are

**Kaiba:** yes

**Kaiba:** could you manage it before my next meeting starts

**Bakura:** but we need forward planning

**Joey:** how many times you been sniped kaiba

**Kaiba:** more than your number of brain cells

**Téa:** kaiba

**Joey:** asshole

**Kaiba:** mutt

**_Joey_ ** _changed **Kaiba** to **dragonfucker**_

**dragonfucker:** i hate you

**Joey:** good

**Yugi:** dont do that ill get confused

**dragonfucker:** what else is new

**Yugi:** what does that even mean

**dragonfucker:** i think you know

**Yugi:** i really dont

**Bakura:** is this about the love square

**Téa:** what love square

**Bakura:** yours

**Joey:** aint it more like a love hexagon

**Tristan:** who are four five and six

**Joey:** all of us plus atem and mai

**Yugi:** thats seven

**dragonfucker:** fucking moron

**Joey:** up yours

**Tristan:** dont yugi and atem count as one

**Joey:** no

**Tristan:** well okay

**Bakura:** thats more an orgy than love polygon

**Téa:** love polygon

**Yugi:** orgy

**Yugi:** now i want my memories erased too

**dragonfucker:** we all want that

**Tristan:** call the ishtars

**_Téa_ ** _added **Ishizu** to the group_

**Ishizu:** ????

**Yugi:** can we get all the millennium items back and recreate the memory loss thing

**Ishizu:** what are you talking about

**Yugi:** you know

**Yugi:** atem losing his memories

**Ishizu:** ah

**Ishizu:** well

**Joey:** please

**dragonfucker:** erase bakura completely

**Bakura:** no not again

**Yugi:** im starting to agree

**Bakura:** et tu yugi

**Ishizu:** my brother is really the one to ask about this

**Joey:** add him

**Ishizu:** i dont think its a good idea

**Yugi:** ADD HIM

**Téa:** christ okay

**_Téa_ ** _added **Marik** to the group_

**Marik:** ????

**Yugi:** one mind bleach ritual please

**Marik:** what

**Ishizu:** they want to know if you can erase their memories

**Marik:** why

**Téa:** best if you dont know

**Marik:** but i have to know what to erase or it wont work

**dragonfucker:** bullshit

**dragonfucker:** do it coward

**Bakura:** wait we forgot marik and ishizu

**Ishizu:** for what

**Bakura:** love polygon

**Bakura:** or orgy if you prefer

**Marik:** you brought me for an orgy

**dragonfucker:** yes but not in the way you think

**Joey:** what way were you thinkin

**Yugi:** make it stop

**Ishizu:** what madness is this

**Ishizu:** tea what did you bring me into

**Téa:** sorry

**Téa:** i was threatened by yugis allcaps

**Yugi:** it wasnt a threat it was a demand

**Tristan:** how is that different

**Yugi:** can you do it or not marik

**Marik:** no and i dont want to anyway

**Marik:** if i could exchange images with a ritual then i would

**Ishizu:** brother stop

**Marik:** but i wish to know more about love polygons

**_Téa_ ** _kicked **Marik** from the group_

**Ishizu:** phew

**_Ishizu_ ** _left the group_


	4. MELT ME RA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so proud that DAMMIT BAKURA is now a tag for this fic.

dragonfucker: Kaiba

**dragonfucker:** tea i hate this name

**dragonfucker:** change it

**Téa:** gimme a sec

**Joey:** theres a suggestions box right

**Bakura:** please say yes

**Tristan:** tea were counting on you

**Téa:** pressure much

**_Téa_ ** _changed **dragonfucker** to **Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragon** **s**_

**Tristan:** oh my god

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** hmm

**Téa:** too much

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** not enough

**Yugi:** hang on kaiba ill pick a more accurate one for you

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** wait but i like this one

**Joey:** suggestions box

**Yugi:** no

**Tristan:** come on well get good ones

**Bakura:** better than yours

**Yugi:** i doubt it

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** i actually agree with you for once

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** the mutt can barely walk and talk let alone come up with good insults

**Tristan:** you know youd be in big trouble if he understood that

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** thank god for small mercies

**Joey:** i understood every damn word you assholes

**Bakura:** oooooh

**Joey:** shut up

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** hurry up with your lame insult yugi

**Yugi:** DONT RUSH ME

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** BRING IT ON YUGI

**Yugi:** I TOLD YOU IM DOING IT

**Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons:** INSULT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YUUUUUUUGGGGGIIIIIIIIIII

**Yugi:** FUCK OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFF

**_Yugi_ ** _changed **Seto Kaiba, The Undisputed Overlord Of Domino And Lover Of Dragons** to **Not The King Of Games**_

**Not The King Of Games:** hmmmm

**Bakura:** more accurate

**Not The King Of Games:** one day that will change but yugi will always be tiny

**Yugi:** i can have a growth spurt but youll never beat me at childrens card games

**Not The King Of Games:** just for that im changing your name too

**Bakura:** sounds a fair exchange

**Joey:** here we go

**Téa:** go ahead kaiba

**Yugi:** dont help him or anything

**Téa:** i mean it does sound fair

**Not The King Of Games:** thank you tea

**Téa:** youre welcome

**Joey:** what is this some kinda douchebag pole dancer alliance

**Bakura:** i knew you danced but pole dancer

**Bakura:** tell me more

**Téa:** im not

**Joey:** yugis gone quiet

**Yugi:** im still here just distracted

**Tristan:** by what

**Bakura:** pole dancing tea

**Yugi:** well

**Téa:** dammit

**Tristan:** i think were all focused on pole dancing tea right now

**Bakura:** i know i am

**Téa:** bakura tristan im more than happy to kick you both

**Joey:** rich boy aint

**Yugi:** dragons

**Not The King Of Games:** yes

**Tristan:** sure hope its not pole dancing dragons

**Not The King Of Games:** hmmmmmmmmmmmm

**Bakura:** now it is

**_Not The King Of Games_ ** _changed **Yugi** to **Homunculus**_

**Homunculus:** WHAT THE FUCK

**Joey:** a what

**Not The King Of Games:** perfectly formed miniature human being

**Joey:** hahahahahaha

**Homunculus:** thanks joey

**Bakura:** perfectly formed you say

**Téa:** god stop saying what i think youre saying

**Tristan:** perfectly formed for his pole dancer

**Joey:** assumin they got that far

**Bakura:** how many bases tea

**Téa:** i am NOT answering that

**Homunculus:** i wish i was tiny enough to burn with a magnifying glass

**Homunculus:** MELT ME RA

**Bakura:** is that what he yells out

**Téa:** help

**Not The King Of Games:** i dont even know what youre talking about anymore

**Téa:** you lucky bastard

**Tristan:** why is kaiba the innocent one here

**Joey:** like a newborn

**Bakura:** has he had the talk

**Homunculus:** no and he should never hear it

**Bakura:** maybe he should

**Téa:** dont you fucking dare bakura

**Joey:** i think i shit myself and you werent even talkin to me

**Not The King Of Games:** how could you tell

**Joey:** permission to murder

**Tristan:** later dude

**Téa:** no later

**Téa:** no to everyone

**Bakura:** but

**Téa:** DAMMIT BAKURA

**Téa:** I SAID NO

**Bakura:** aw


	5. Reborn The Marik

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had too much fun with Marik, so decided to bring him back.
> 
> This chapter’s title is based on “Reborn The Monster”, which is such a weird way of saying that card name (in English, anyway). But maybe not as weird as destroying a moon to win a duel.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

**_Homunculus_ ** _added **Marik** to the group_

**Téa:** nooooooooooooo why

**Homunculus:** boredom

**Not The King Of Games:** is ishizu coming

**Bakura:** he doesnt need ishizu

**Bakura:** i shall guide him

**Joey:** dont corrupt him

**Joey:** we dont want a repeat of battle city

**Tristan:** you wanna see ishizu eh kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** only to gloat

**Joey:** that some kinda weird foreplay

**Marik:** what is foreplay

**Bakura:** games you play before intercourse

**Téa:** bakura my god

**Tristan:** hes a playa

**Not The King Of Games:** like card games

**Tristan:** christ kaiba

**Joey:** yeah in yugis case

**Homunculus:** end me

**Téa:** id disagree usually but yeah

**Homunculus:** i regret adding marik

**Homunculus:** happy now tea

**Téa:** lil bit

**Bakura:** marik read those playboy i gave you

**Marik:** okay

**Homunculus:** bakura why

**Bakura:** he needs educating

**Téa:** whered you even get those

**Joey:** me

**Tristan:** and me

**Bakura:** also your chew toy

**Téa:** he is NOT my chew toy

**Bakura:** im glad you know who i was referring to

**Bakura:** that makes me right

**Téa:** it does not

**Homunculus:** this time i hope its me

**Téa:** yugi youre not helping at all

**Téa:** also whaddya mean got playboy from yugi

**Bakura:** youre not enough for him obviously

**Not The King Of Games:** the names a dead giveaway

**Homunculus:** ugh

**Homunculus:** i bought them for those two

**Téa:** a likely story

**Homunculus:** im not even arguing anymore

**Téa:** i win again

**Homunculus:** i repeat end me

**Tristan:** so marik

**Marik:** yes

**Tristan:** why hasnt ishizu taught you anything

**Joey:** maybe she doesnt know either

**Marik:** i should ask

**Joey:** you didnt think to ask before comin here

**Marik:** no i did not

**Not The King Of Games:** i feel like i bought a ticket to moron mountain

**Homunculus:** we all did

**Tristan:** no we live on it

**Tristan:** kaibas a trespasser

**Joey:** shoot to kill

**Not The King Of Games:** weve all spent our time learning duel monsters and left no time for anything else

**Tristan:** oh god kaibas aware

**Not The King Of Games:** im aware youre a fucking idiot

**Joey:** yugis an exception

**Bakura:** do you mean to stupidity

**Homunculus:** gee thanks bakura

**Joey:** no dumbass to not havin time for anythin but duel monsters

**Homunculus:** so youre calling me an idiot

**Not The King Of Games:** hes not an idiot

**Tristan:** huh thought youd agree with insulting yugi

**Not The King Of Games:** usually but id rather compliment yugi than agree with that mongrel

**Marik:** how

**Joey:** how what

**Marik:** how is yugi an exception

**Tristan:** he gets a hard on every time he hears a high voice

**Not The King Of Games:** does that include his own

**Homunculus:** god damn you kaiba

**Homunculus:** i dont

**Téa:** you do

**Téa:** well you did

**Bakura:** now its just for tea right

**Homunculus:** youre impossible

**Téa:** yeah

**Homunculus:** TEA

**Marik:** but what about the polygon

**Not The King Of Games:** ugh not this shit again

**Bakura:** you know whos perfect for this

**Bakura:** duke

**Téa:** heeeeeeeeeeeeeeell no


	6. Earthly Sponge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t quite know how Marik has become a regular.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

**_Homunculus_ ** _added **Duke** to the group_

**Téa:** yuuuuuuuuuuugi

**Homunculus:** what

**Téa:** you gotta stop doing this

**Homunculus:** we agreed to share power when we made this group

**Téa:** i know

**Homunculus:** so

**Téa:** i just deeply regret agreeing to that right now

**Not The King Of Games:** you should regret everything involving the shrimp

**Homunculus:** stop

**Duke:** hey

**Marik:** who are you

**Duke:** seriously

**Téa:** wait you dont remember duke

**Marik:** no

**Joey:** thats cause your evil ass took over

**Marik:** that explains it

**Duke:** how

**Bakura:** it just does

**Bakura:** go with it

**Duke:** eh why not

**Tristan:** kaiba you got holy water

**Not The King Of Games:** somewhere yes

**Joey:** you sure you got enough

**Bakura:** buy more

**Joey:** buy more holy water

**Joey:** the fuck

**Téa:** he can afford it

**Not The King Of Games:** i have a problem

**Homunculus:** god what is it now

**Bakura:** puberty struck yet

**Téa:** like thats a thing for our group

**Bakura:** you got me there

**Homunculus:** hey

**Joey:** yug you know its true

**Homunculus:** but i like denial

**Téa:** aint that the truth

**Homunculus:** what

**Tristan:** so whats up kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** i only have holy water in the tank marked bakura

**Tristan:** just use that

**Not The King Of Games:** i cant

**Not The King Of Games:** its for bakura

**Bakura:** i feel honoured

**Duke:** you got a marik tank

**Not The King Of Games:** pending

**Homunculus:** we needed that back in battle city

**Marik:** its okay im all better now

**Téa:** and were so proud of you

**Marik:** thanks tea

**Tristan:** you know using sarcasm on him is cruel

**Téa:** to be honest i dont know if i was being sarcastic or not

**Homunculus:** letting the side down kaiba

**Joey:** as usual

**Not The King Of Games:** bite me

**Joey:** no thanks dunno what id catch

**Duke:** so uh

**Duke:** why am i here

**Homunculus:** well

**Bakura:** a lost lamb needs your help

**Marik:** i am an earthly sponge eager to soak up information

**Marik:** teach me the ways of love

**Duke:** shit

**Téa:** duke just help him please

**Téa:** end this torment

**Duke:** pretty sure im not qualified

**Tristan:** as usual

**Duke:** excuse me

**Tristan:** youre excused

**Marik:** is my lesson starting now

**Homunculus:** god i hope not

**Bakura:** marik this is known as a sissy fight

**Not The King Of Games:** weaklings

**Not The King Of Games:** use guns

**Bakura:** theres an idea

**Joey:** forget these cards

**Joey:** maybe ol fashioned duels are the way to go

**Homunculus:** safer than shadow games

**Bakura:** definitely

**Téa:** please no

**Téa:** those idiots with guns

**Not The King Of Games:** precisely

**Marik:** duke

**Duke:** what

**Marik:** please

**Duke:** try wikipedia

**Marik:** okay

**Téa:** thats your advice

**Duke:** yes

**Tristan:** you asshole

**Duke:** yes

**_Duke_ ** _has left the group_

**Homunculus:** alright

**Homunculus:** glad thats cleared up

**Homunculus:** whats next on our list

**Téa:** yuuuuuuuuuuugi


	7. Dog Puns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the kind of story to write at 8am.
> 
> Because this is the result.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

**Bakura:** i want a dog

**Bakura:** discuss

**Téa:** oh lord

**Not The King Of Games:** there are millions of more interesting conversations i could be having right now

**Joey:** then fuck off and do that

**Not The King Of Games:** ive been trying for hours and not one of you shits will let me

**Homunculus:** kaiba you deserve it

**Not The King Of Games:** since when

**Tristan:** since always

**Joey:** no get rid of him

**Homunculus:** its more fun this way

**Joey:** you sure youre enemies

**Not The King Of Games:** if you mean like accidentally stepping on a snail then yes

**Homunculus:** wow

**Marik:** what kind of dog bakura

**Bakura:** let me think

**Tristan:** you want mine

**Tristan:** its a pain in the ass

**Joey:** dont give it to him

**Joey:** he might eat it

**Bakura:** depends on the breed

**Téa:** one day ill get used to your comedy i swear

**Marik:** can i have your dog

**Joey:** not to eat i hope

**Marik:** no we have lizards and scorpions for that

**Tristan:** how do they taste

**Marik:** crunchy

**Joey:** tell me youre jokin

**Marik:** i could but itd be a lie

**Not The King Of Games:** tristan give me your mutt

**Bakura:** which one

**Not The King Of Games:** either will do

**Homunculus:** for what

**Not The King Of Games:** reasons

**Tristan:** experiments

**Bakura:** id like to see experiments

**Joey:** okay thats just fuckin weird bakura

**Marik:** borkura

**Bakura:** oh no

**Téa:** dont tempt me or ill change it to that

**Marik:** do it

**Téa:** i just might

**Bakura:** thats too cruel

**Tristan:** okay kaiba take joey but leave my dog alone

**Joey:** fuckin

**Homunculus:** wait a minute

**Homunculus:** marik why are you still here

**Not The King Of Games:** you only just noticed

**Marik:** social studies

**Joey:** learnin from us

**Tristan:** are you insane

**Not The King Of Games:** is that a trick question

**Bakura:** he can start with us and move up the ladder

**Joey:** you mean the asshole ladder

**Not The King Of Games:** my company has some kind of training like that

**Homunculus:** that explains everything

**Not The King Of Games:** yes it does

**Tristan:** only he could be proud of that

**Joey:** him and the yamis

**Téa:** the yamis sounds like a band

**Joey:** theres enough leather makeup and massive hair for a metal band

**Bakura:** true

**Marik:** true

**Homunculus:** true

**Tristan:** hate to ask but can we get back to a less disturbing topic

**Marik:** dogs

**Téa:** you figured out what breed yet bakura

**Bakura:** maybe a little shih tzu

**Not The King Of Games:** we asked what breed you want not what the deadbeat is

**Joey:** goddamn

**_Téa_ ** _changed **Joey** to **Little Shih Tzu**_

**Not The King Of Games:** excellent

**Homunculus:** i told you before please dont do this

**Tristan:** too late

**Little Shih Tzu:** change the name

**Téa:** ill think about it

**Little Shih Tzu:** pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease

**Téa:** only cause you begged

**_Téa_ ** _changed **Bakura** to **Borkura**_

**Little Shih Tzu:** noooooo tea

**Borkura:** yugi why did you let it happen

**Homunculus:** sorry

**Marik:** YESSSSS

**Marik:** give them all dog puns

**Tristan:** hes evil again

**Téa:** oh my god marik

**Téa:** thats the best idea ive ever heard

**Not The King Of Games:** yugi

**Homunculus:** on it

**_Homunculus_ ** _kicked **Téa** from the group_


	8. Sausagefest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the best parts about this is coming up with chapter titles.
> 
> I’m particularly proud of this one. Also not.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Borkura: Bakura

**Homunculus:** i made a mistake

**Homunculus:** i miss tea

**Borkura:** i miss tea too

**Homunculus:** dont you dare

**Borkura:** i dare

**Tristan:** yugi its been thirty seconds

**Little Shih Tzu:** youll live

**Not The King Of Games:** suck it up shrimp boy

**Homunculus:** gee i love my friends

**Marik:** am i your friend

**Homunculus:** sure why not

**Borkura:** yes because we need that

**Not The King Of Games:** i dont want to agree with you but i have to in this case

**Borkura:** suck it up orphan boy

**Not The King Of Games:** youre an orphan too

**Borkura:** i still have a dad

**Not The King Of Games:** i still have a sibling

**Borkura:** touche

**Marik:** can i join

**Little Shih Tzu:** marik you dont wanna get involved

**Marik:** why not

**Little Shih Tzu:** you shittin me

**Marik:** ????

**Tristan:** okay are we done trying to make each other cry

**Borkura:** yes

**Not The King Of Games:** i dont cry

**Little Shih Tzu:** mokuba said you do

**Not The King Of Games:** since when did i say it was okay to talk to my brother

**Not The King Of Games:** also no he didnt

**Homunculus:** he really did

**Not The King Of Games:** i call bullshit

**Little Shih Tzu:** i call bullshit on your bullshit

**Not The King Of Games:** i call bullshit on you calling bullshit on my bullshit

**Little Shih Tzu:** aha so you admit its bullshit

**Not The King Of Games:** in that context yes

**Tristan:** so you do cry

**Not The King Of Games:** no i fucking dont

**Marik:** its okay to cry

**Marik:** doesnt make you any less of a man

**Not The King Of Games:** i really want to murder you when you say something like that

**Not The King Of Games:** but i know youre too innocent for sarcasm

**Homunculus:** he complimented you

**Tristan:** backwards land behold

**Marik:** shadow realm

**Little Shih Tzu:** please dont joke about that shit

**Borkura:** whos joking

**Tristan:** i hate that youre right

**Homunculus:** why do you have to scare us all like this

**Homunculus:** every time bakura

**Borkura:** me

**Borkura:** marik said it

**Little Shih Tzu:** yeah but you point it out

**Not The King Of Games:** pointing is rude

**Borkura:** i give up

**Homunculus:** okay ive had enough

**Homunculus:** i hate this sausagefest

**Marik:** a what

**Tristan:** urban dictionary

**Marik:** okay

**_Homunculus_ ** _added **Téa** to the group_

**Not The King Of Games:** welcome back

**Téa:** hey

**Homunculus:** you were missed

**Tristan:** i think we all missed you

**Little Shih Tzu:** i miss my name

**Not The King Of Games:** nobody cares

**Téa:** the name stays joey

**Little Shih Tzu:** nooo please

**Téa:** okay okay ask me again later

**Little Shih Tzu:** aw fine

**Tristan:** are you crying now

**Téa:** what crying

**Téa:** you all been crying cause i was gone

**Téa:** or at each other

**Homunculus:** i think a bit of both

**Téa:** you cried yugi

**Tristan:** ironically the only one who didnt

**Homunculus:** me and tristan

**Téa:** well tristan i expected

**Téa:** but im proud of you yugi

**Borkura:** hes a real boy now

**Homunculus:** funny

**Marik:** tea im so happy youre back

**Marik:** you are our rock

**Téa:** aw thanks marik

**Téa:** i think

**Little Shih Tzu:** why is everybody bein nice to marik

**Tristan:** youd prefer we were nice to you

**Little Shih Tzu:** well yeah

**Not The King Of Games:** thatll be the day


	9. Get Your Notebooks Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought it was about time for another guest…although these people need to work through some stuff first, apparently.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Borkura: Bakura

**Tristan:** yugi i think you had a point about the sausagefest

**Homunculus:** im scared to ask

**Homunculus:** but go on

**Tristan:** invite some more ladies

**Homunculus:** hmm

**Not The King Of Games:** what ladies

**Marik:** sister

**Borkura:** ladies that youre not related to

**Marik:** why

**Little Shih Tzu:** god what the hell is his problem

**Tristan:** you know why marik

**Marik:** i do not

**Borkura:** there are things you cant do with sisters that you can do with other ladies

**Little Shih Tzu:** you keep talkin in riddles and hell never understand

**Marik:** i love riddles

**Homunculus:** focus marik

**Marik:** sorry

**Not The King Of Games:** bakura give me examples of lady things

**Téa:** work on your wording kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** im going to assume i insulted you somehow

**Not The King Of Games:** and move on

**Téa:** ugh

**Borkura:** get your notebooks out

**Marik:** okay

**Homunculus:** tea you have a pen

**Homunculus:** and a notebook

**Téa:** goddammit you are not taking notes again

**Tristan:** again

**Not The King Of Games:** fuck me

**Marik:** is that part of it

**Not The King Of Games:** no you dumbass

**Not The King Of Games:** its a figure of speech

**Marik:** a figure of speech

**Homunculus:** wait is he taking minutes

**Téa:** can you blame him

**Borkura:** kaiba was that outburst a cry for help

**Not The King Of Games:** no fuck off

**Little Shih Tzu:** you kiddin me

**Little Shih Tzu:** hes the furthest out of us

**Tristan:** sad but true

**Homunculus:** hey

**Borkura:** already married to his cards

**Marik:** is that legal

**Tristan:** are you asking out of concern

**Marik:** i think so

**Homunculus:** wait what

**Not The King Of Games:** preferable company to all of you

**Not The King Of Games:** cards dont talk

**Téa:** are you proud bakura

**Téa:** you did it again

**Borkura:** yes i am and yes i did

**Téa:** i will kick you so damn hard

**Borkura:** who told you im into that

**Homunculus:** stop him somebody

**Téa:** im trying but hes making it hard

**Little Shih Tzu:** someone whos not tea stop him

**Tristan:** okay i was gonna suggest bringing in mai but that convo feels so long ago now

**Little Shih Tzu:** MAI

**Téa:** the hell was that joey

**Not The King Of Games:** what does she walk him or something

**Homunculus:** are you sure you want mai here

**Homunculus:** especially around marik

**Marik:** who is mai

**Homunculus:** see what i mean

**Téa:** im kinda curious actually

**Not The King Of Games:** will there be bets

**Homunculus:** for what

**Not The King Of Games:** to see who dies

**Tristan:** kaiba you ask that every time and the answer is always no

**Not The King Of Games:** im holding out on the hope of wish fulfilment

**Marik:** like a genie

**Homunculus:** sometimes i swear

**Little Shih Tzu:** im with tea

**Little Shih Tzu:** add mai

**Borkura:** im not sure a hard on is a good reason to add someone to this hellscape

**Little Shih Tzu:** thats not why

**Homunculus:** it is

**Tristan:** second

**Not The King Of Games:** wait a fucking second bakura

**Not The King Of Games:** i copyrighted hellscape

**Not The King Of Games:** get your own title for this abomination

**Borkura:** hmm abomination is good

**Borkura:** ill use that

**Tristan:** the hell you manage to copyright a word

**Homunculus:** tristan you should know better

**Tristan:** yeah sorry forgot who were dealing with

**Not The King Of Games:** one day i will buy the universe

**Téa:** dear fucking lord


	10. Bottomless Stomach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where does Bakura put all his food? Or is Yami the King of thieving food? And where does a spirit put it? Because I can’t get the Casper image out of my head of it all going on the floor. And Bakura eating it off the floor, because he refuses to waste anything.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Borkura: Bakura

**Téa:** you all underestimate mai

**Not The King Of Games:** captain obvious

**Téa:** every time you rip shit out of me your dick gets shorter

**Homunculus:** its not like he uses it

**Marik:** you sound like you know much about kaiba

**Homunculus:** yeah i hate how that came out

**Homunculus:** ill shut up now

**Not The King Of Games:** finally

**Téa:** kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** you said when i rip shit out of you not yugi

**Not The King Of Games:** ergo i shall continue the shit ripping

**Little Shih Tzu:** ergooooooo

**Not The King Of Games:** i still want to leave

**Little Shih Tzu:** nobodys stopping you

**Marik:** dont leave kaiba

**Marik:** it wont be the same without you

**Not The King Of Games:** i want to stay less now

**Borkura:** tea you know the way to get him to stay dont you

**Téa:** dare i ask

**Borkura:** modify his behaviour

**Téa:** for some reason i need more info

**Not The King Of Games:** no you don’t

**Not The King Of Games:** just let me go

**Little Shih Tzu:** if you love him let him go

**Téa:** not this again

**Borkura:** you need to squirt him with water

**Borkura:** like you do yugi

**Téa:** why do i feel like this is a thing

**Tristan:** cause it is

**Téa:** that is true

**Marik:** why water

**Borkura:** because men are like cats

**Not The King Of Games:** and some are like dogs

**Little Shih Tzu:** asshole

**Not The King Of Games:** no names were mentioned

**Homunculus:** is this why you live alone bakura

**Not The King Of Games:** i thought you were shutting up

**Homunculus:** relapse

**Not The King Of Games:** unrelapse

**Homunculus:** thats not how it works

**Not The King Of Games:** dammit

**Borkura:** no

**Little Shih Tzu:** you mean yes

**Not The King Of Games:** i thought it was drugs

**Tristan:** thought what was drugs

**Not The King Of Games:** bakura living alone

**Téa:** makes sense

**Homunculus:** how

**Little Shih Tzu:** hes chill

**Tristan:** hyper focused

**Téa:** always eating

**Borkura:** i wish it was drugs

**Not The King Of Games:** that reminds me

**Not The King Of Games:** you owe me for my blimp food

**Borkura:** i didnt eat all of it

**Not The King Of Games:** youre still getting the bill

**Tristan:** whats the problem you can afford it

**Borkura:** but thatd break my rule of never paying for food

**Homunculus:** how have you never paid for food

**Borkura:** good looks

**Little Shih Tzu:** what are you tea

**Téa:** fuck you

**Marik:** does that mean tea and bakura together would get double food

**Borkura:** theres an idea

**Téa:** god no

**_Homunculus_ ** _changed **Borkura** to **Bottomless Stomach**_

**Bottomless Stomach:** i suppose its better than the dog puns

**Homunculus:** youre welcome

**Téa:** im disappointed in you yugi

**Marik:** me too

**Homunculus:** deal with it

**Bottomless Stomach:** youre still wrong about why i live alone

**Little Shih Tzu:** is it the food thing

**Téa:** is it private parties cause you need to get laid

**Not The King Of Games:** you say things like that then blame him for his comments

**Téa:** i did not think that through

**Bottomless Stomach:** are you offering

**Téa:** NO

**Marik:** threesomes are a thing

**Tristan:** thanks duke

**Homunculus:** marik the hell

**Marik:** did i do wrong

**Homunculus:** duh let me think

**Homunculus:** YES

**Bottomless Stomach:** so how about it tea

**Téa:** I SAID NO

**Bottomless Stomach:** cant blame me for trying

**Little Shih Tzu:** are you sure you dont have the ring anymore


	11. Stupid Buffer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now presenting special guest Mai! _Finally._

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Téa:** okay its time for a stupid buffer

**_Téa_ ** _added **Mai** to the group_

**Mai:** not sure i appreciate being a buffer

**Not The King Of Games:** youre used to it

**Mai:** ohhh kaiba you

**Homunculus:** and shes away

**Tristan:** and hes away

**Little Shih Tzu:** wish he was

**Not The King Of Games:** im staying in spite of you

**Marik:** thanks kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** ugh

**Mai:** i do appreciate the dog puns though

**Téa:** least somebody does

**Marik:** i like mai

**Mai:** um

**Homunculus:** dont mind him

**Mai:** is he okay

**Not The King Of Games:** no

**Tristan:** you mightve broken him

**Homunculus:** more

**Téa:** yeah more

**Bottomless Stomach:** is that the right way around

**Mai:** thanks i wanted to remember that

**Tristan:** bakura

**Bottomless Stomach:** i know i know im sorry

**Little Shih Tzu:** you are not

**Bottomless Stomach:** how could you tell

**Mai:** not sure if kidding or a complete dick

**Bottomless Stomach:** take your pick

**Bottomless Stomach:** im not even sure anymore

**Marik:** what is a complete dick

**Marik:** is there such a thing as an incomplete dick

**Not The King Of Games:** there is

**Not The King Of Games:** youre one

**Marik:** ????

**Tristan:** surprised you didnt attack joey with that

**Not The King Of Games:** no hes a complete dick like bakura

**Not The King Of Games:** theres a difference

**Marik:** whats the difference

**Not The King Of Games:** imagine its like a spot the difference marik

**Marik:** ooh okay

**Not The King Of Games:** fucking dumbass

**Mai:** ohhh now i remember why youre okay

**Little Shih Tzu:** HEY

**Marik:** is that an insult

**Mai:** both of you relax

**Mai:** im kidding

**Little Shih Tzu:** phew

**Homunculus:** never can tell

**Téa:** yugi

**Tristan:** hes not wrong

**Mai:** kaibas a giant dick who happens to be okay at card games

**Not The King Of Games:** what do you mean okay at card games

**Little Shih Tzu:** fine with being a dick but not the king of games

**Tristan:** hit him where it hurts

**Homunculus:** one he knows the other he doesnt

**Little Shih Tzu:** which one is which

**Not The King Of Games:** i hate you all more every second

**Téa:** please

**Téa:** theres too much dick talk

**Homunculus:** shut up bakura

**Bottomless Stomach:** i didnt even

**Bottomless Stomach:** i was SILENT

**Homunculus:** you were THINKING THINGS

**Marik:** are you paranoid

**Not The King Of Games:** yes but thats besides the point

**Homunculus:** i am not

**Mai:** what else do you suggest we talk about then

**Téa:** i dont know

**Little Shih Tzu:** duelling

**Mai:** do you ever switch off

**Tristan:** yeah when theres money or food

**Bottomless Stomach:** im hungry

**Marik:** me too

**Little Shih Tzu:** me three

**Not The King Of Games:** i have a company picnic soon that youre all not invited to

**Mai:** holy crap

**Mai:** you at a picnic

**Téa:** someone please erase that image

**Marik:** i told you i cant and dont want to

**Little Shih Tzu:** can we crash

**Homunculus:** joey we would need to find out where it is

**Bottomless Stomach:** and when

**Marik:** kaiba where and when is it being held

**Tristan:** wait seriously you think asking himll work

**Not The King Of Games:** tomorrow at noon in the park

**Homunculus:** what just happened

**Téa:** kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** what the fuck

**Not The King Of Games:** you tricked me

**Not The King Of Games:** YOU LITTLE BASTARD

**Marik:** hehehe


	12. Quote Ye Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can’t take Marik seriously. All I see is Spongebob.
> 
> Not that I can take the others seriously either.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Marik:** we need to rob more picnics

**Not The King Of Games:** robbing MY picnic is declaring war

**Little Shih Tzu:** you want the food back kaiba

**Téa:** ew joey

**Little Shih Tzu:** hahahaha

**Bottomless Stomach:** worth it

**Mai:** these little cakes are delicious

**Mai:** what did you put in them

**Not The King Of Games:** what you think i fucking stood there for hours and baked a thousand little cupcakes

**Not The King Of Games:** i am not a chef

**Homunculus:** but you wear the pink apron right

**Not The King Of Games:** only when im impersonating you

**Bottomless Stomach:** you mean atem right

**Téa:** murder need growing

**Homunculus:** im saying nothing

**Marik:** are you not getting sex tonight yugi

**Homunculus:** huh

**Homunculus:** someone take the internet away from him

**Tristan:** thats ishizus job

**Marik:** no not again

**Homunculus:** i refuse to ask about the again

**Not The King Of Games:** that picnic was a serious business meeting with shareholders

**Mai:** i tell you it did not look it

**Mai:** some of the suits they were wearing

**Little Shih Tzu:** least they wear clothes

**Mai:** you wear dog suits

**Little Shih Tzu:** damn you mai

**Not The King Of Games:** you all bribed my brother somehow

**Little Shih Tzu:** we asked him if we could have some food

**Bottomless Stomach:** the same trick marik used to get the time and place of the picnic in the first place

**Mai:** moron

**Not The King Of Games:** marik used some kind of jedi mind trick

**Marik:** whats a jedi

**Téa:** wookieepedia

**Bottomless Stomach:** look up sith theyre more fun

**Téa:** stop corrupting him

**Marik:** they sound lovely

**Bottomless Stomach:** they are

**Téa:** ugh

**Not The King Of Games:** the rest of you stood there looking on

**Homunculus:** i wanted to see if theyd get away with it

**Tristan:** or if youd catch and lynch them

**Not The King Of Games:** why didnt you stop them

**Homunculus:** youre asking me for help

**Homunculus:** and wondering why i didn’t

**Homunculus:** do you understand any part of that

**Not The King Of Games:** no

**Tristan:** maybe if you hadnt told them kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** jedi

**Marik:** no i am sith

**Marik:** mwahahaha

**Téa:** dear lord

**Bottomless Stomach:** goooooood

**Téa:** you start quoting star wars and ill bitchslap you

**Tristan:** you starting now or you mean over the many years of evil gold jewellery

**Téa:** hmm lemme think

**Bottomless Stomach:** start from now

**Bottomless Stomach:** or there’ll be nothing left of us

**Téa:** okay fine

**Little Shih Tzu:** kaiba youre so anal you probably thought he said somethin bout blue eyes

**Not The King Of Games:** i did not

**Not The King Of Games:** i dont only talk about blue eyes you know

**Mai:** um yes you do

**Homunculus:** thats harsh mai

**Little Shih Tzu:** yug what

**Homunculus:** sometimes he changes it up by mentioning all the money innocent people will never get

**Not The King Of Games:** i build theme parks and stadiums for children with free entry

**Marik:** do they turn into donkeys

**Téa:** no disney quotes either

**Marik:** aw

**Tristan:** okay so some of them are innocent maybe

**Not The King Of Games:** all children are innocent

**Mai:** youre a child and youre not

**Little Shih Tzu:** yugs a child and hes innocent

**Homunculus:** like fuck i am

**Téa:** see

**Téa:** once again joey youre wrong

**Little Shih Tzu:** dammit

**Not The King Of Games:** i also have plans for a duelling school in the near future

**Homunculus:** thats the worst idea i ever heard

**Mai:** are the students going to fight yugi by proxy kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** like hell they are

**Homunculus:** their chances of winning are higher

**Not The King Of Games:** just you wait yugi


	13. Qualifications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tristan is really the only normal one here. Somebody needs to keep the peace.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Tristan:** marik

**Marik:** yes

**Tristan:** i know you keep saying

**Tristan:** but how are you reformed

**Little Shih Tzu:** like ham

**Mai:** ugh joey

**Homunculus:** enough with the food jokes

**Bottomless Stomach:** please

**Bottomless Stomach:** i feel teased

**Téa:** wait for it

**Not The King Of Games:** wait for what

**Tristan:** really kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** i dont understand

**Homunculus:** maybe just as well

**Tristan:** you got a point

**Mai:** so does your hair

**Little Shih Tzu:** ooh burn

**Not The King Of Games:** shut up deadbeat

**Little Shih Tzu:** buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrnnnnnnn

**Mai:** shut up joey

**Little Shih Tzu:** okay

**Not The King Of Games:** huh he really is your pet

**Téa:** wait for it

**Bottomless Stomach:** tea ill be good i promise

**Homunculus:** you dont know the meaning of the word

**Bottomless Stomach:** i know but this time im sincere

**Mai:** kaiba doesnt know thank you but he manages to say it

**Tristan:** words need meaning or theyre just a bunch of noise

**Not The King Of Games:** yes

**Little Shih Tzu:** yep

**Not The King Of Games:** okay i take back my agreement

**Marik:** why

**Tristan:** cause if kaiba and joey agree then the world is fucked

**Marik:** you mean refucked

**Téa:** bakura did you teach marik some new words

**Bottomless Stomach:** not that one but i can offer you a bunch of equally bad words

**Mai:** do they all start with penis

**Bottomless Stomach:** only half

**Mai:** hes improving

**Téa:** theres hope for him yet

**Homunculus:** that didnt take long

**Bottomless Stomach:** oh right

**Bottomless Stomach:** i was supposed to be good

**Marik:** you promised

**Bottomless Stomach:** well shit

**Mai:** this is why i dont make promises

**Homunculus:** wow

**Not The King Of Games:** me neither

**Little Shih Tzu:** me neither

**Not The King Of Games:** again i take it back

**Téa:** will you stop that

**Little Shih Tzu:** when i get bored of it

**Mai:** which will be never or in two seconds

**Mai:** depending on how devoted your doggy brain is today

**Marik:** doggy brain arf

**Little Shih Tzu:** go to hell

**Mai:** speaking of hell

**Mai:** i have somewhere else to be

**Homunculus:** what other hell

**Mai:** yes

**Little Shih Tzu:** nooooooo mai dont gooooo

**Not The King Of Games:** at least walk the poor bastard first

**Mai:** no time

**Homunculus:** mai thats a little cruel you do know that right

**Mai:** i am well aware

**Little Shih Tzu:** maaaaaiiiiiiiii

**Mai:** bye bye huns

**Téa:** later mai

**_Mai_ ** _has left the group_

**Tristan:** i think our sanity dropped again

**Téa:** or rose

**Marik:** youre in charge of our sanity tristan

**Tristan:** were all screwed

**Bottomless Stomach:** did mai say huns or buns

**Téa:** dial it down for one minute please

**Marik:** is this about food or boobs or butts

**Homunculus:** could be all of them

**Bottomless Stomach:** all are good right yugi

**Homunculus:** i want to say no but who am i kidding

**Marik:** ditto

**Téa:** oh lord

**Tristan:** is this a side effect of having yamis

**Marik:** probably

**Homunculus:** joey

**Little Shih Tzu:** what

**Homunculus:** never go dark

**Not The King Of Games:** you need intelligence to be evil anyway

**Homunculus:** you would know

**Not The King Of Games:** theres a compliment in there

**Homunculus:** enjoy looking for it

**Little Shih Tzu:** mariks a moron and he got an alter ego

**Little Shih Tzu:** i can play cards and beat people up

**Little Shih Tzu:** do i qualify

**Marik:** he passes

**Homunculus:** how come you get to decide

**Bottomless Stomach:** think about it

**Homunculus:** im the king of games so i get to decide

**Marik:** does he pass

**Homunculus:** NO

**Tristan:** but he needs to feel important

**Téa:** come on whats the worst that can happen

**Not The King Of Games:** he becomes my personal troll

**Bottomless Stomach:** but you have that already

**Téa:** plus super stupidity

**Bottomless Stomach:** but you have that already

**Homunculus:** this is precisely why i said NO


	14. Cranky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mokuba will never be prepared to join this chat.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**_Téa_ ** _added **Mokuba** to the group_

**Not The King Of Games:** mokuba i need complaints forms

 **Homunculus:** no

**_Homunculus_ ** _kicked **Mokuba** from the group_

**Not The King Of Games:** WHAT THE FUCK ADD HIM BACK

 **Homunculus:** no

**_Téa_ ** _added **Mokuba** to the group_

**Homunculus:** i said no

**_Homunculus_ ** _kicked **Mokuba** from the group_

**Téa:** quit it

 **Homunculus:** no

 **Bottomless Stomach:** why does yugi have a yugi up his butt

 **Marik:** is that what they call a reacharound

 **Little Shih Tzu:** marik we talked about this

 **Marik:** we did

 **Tristan:** yeah and how youre gonna stop now

 **Marik:** i dont remember that

 **Marik:** am i an amnesiac too

 **Little Shih Tzu:** yeah except youre even less of a plot device

 **Marik:** YAY

 **Homunculus:** i have no reply to any of that

 **Bottomless Stomach:** how about no

 **Homunculus:** how about fuck you

 **Bottomless Stomach:** i applaud your originality

 **Not The King Of Games:** tea please

 **Téa:** sure

**_Téa_ ** _added **Mokuba** to the group_

**Homunculus:** why

 **Tristan:** yugi why are you so cranky today

 **Bottomless Stomach:** maybe he finished too soon

 **Téa:** oh god

 **Bottomless Stomach:** something like that yes

 **Homunculus:** should i argue with him tea or say its fact

 **Téa:** third option

 **Téa:** mind bleach

 **Little Shih Tzu:** again

 **Homunculus:** sounds good

 **Homunculus:** drench me

 **Téa:** shut up bakura

 **Bottomless Stomach:** i deserve that one

 **Not The King Of Games:** im glad mais not here anymore

 **Not The King Of Games:** i mean besides generally wanting her to go away

 **Mokuba:** can i talk now

 **Téa:** you can try but i cant guarantee anything

 **Homunculus:** can we vote for kicking

 **Marik:** sounds good

 **Téa:** okaaaaaaaaay lets focus

 **Bottomless Stomach:** marik describe democracy to me

 **Téa:** or not

 **Marik:** its a flavour of ice cream

 **Tristan:** does he mean neopolitan

 **Marik:** no he ruled france

 **Not The King Of Games:** is this humour

 **Little Shih Tzu:** nobody knows anymore

 **Homunculus:** maybe we shouldve gone into stand up instead of duelling

 **Marik:** pantomime

 **Tristan:** what

 **Not The King Of Games:** or work in a chocolate factory as a helper yugi

 **Homunculus:** i swear to ra ill go back in time and make atem mind crush you

 **Not The King Of Games:** bring it on

 **Not The King Of Games:** he did it already so im immune

 **Tristan:** kaiba its not like a shot

 **Little Shih Tzu:** will it mangle him into bein nice

 **Homunculus:** no promises

 **Little Shih Tzu:** disappointed

 **Homunculus:** suck it up

 **Marik:** is this what is known as a growth spurt

 **Tristan:** most likely

 **Not The King Of Games:** he will never know what it is like to ride rollercoasters

 **Homunculus:** i want to rage

 **Bottomless Stomach:** i want ice cream

 **Marik:** what flavour

 **Bottomless Stomach:** all of them in a giant bucket

 **Little Shih Tzu:** do they do deliveries

 **Mokuba:** they do

 **Mokuba:** but more importantly

 **Mokuba:** big brother why do you want complaints forms

 **Not The King Of Games:** to make complaints

 **Mokuba:** no no i got that

 **Not The King Of Games:** then why did you ask

 **Mokuba:** um

 **Téa:** whats wrong kaiba

 **Not The King Of Games:** i want to complain purely to take up all the customer services time and not let anybody through for a week

 **Mokuba:** not again

 **Mokuba:** im not doing it

 **Not The King Of Games:** why not

 **Mokuba:** its cruel and as boss you should know better

**_Mokuba_ ** _left the group_

**Homunculus:** did you just get a verbal beating by somebody smaller than me

 **Not The King Of Games:** i dont remember what just happened

 **Not The King Of Games:** i too am an amnesiac

 **Marik:** i was one first

 **Homunculus:** bitches please

 **Little Shih Tzu:** yugi you were suppressed by off his tits atem cause you had and still have the mental age of five

 **Tristan:** true

 **Homunculus:** tea correct them

 **Téa:** nope

 **Homunculus:** PLEASE

 **Téa:** theyre right so nope


	15. Puberty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yugi going through multiple puberty is why he’s buff in season four of _GX_.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Little Shih Tzu:** has the puberty passed yug

**Homunculus:** i was gonna argue but i thought better of it

**Homunculus:** im getting there

**Not The King Of Games:** bring mokuba back tea

**Téa:** nope

**Not The King Of Games:** i command you

**Homunculus:** that doesnt work on her

**Homunculus:** i tried

**Homunculus:** i tried so many times

**Not The King Of Games:** cool story

**Homunculus:** oh fuck off

**Marik:** tell me more

**Marik:** i like stories

**Homunculus:** no

**Marik:** pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease

**Homunculus:** no means no

**Bottomless Stomach:** but no also means yes

**Marik:** aha

**Homunculus:** then yes marik

**Bottomless Stomach:** yes also means yes

**Homunculus:** oh for fucks sake

**Marik:** i like winning

**Bottomless Stomach:** feels good doesnt it

**Marik:** yes

**Bottomless Stomach:** first time always feels the best

**Marik:** wait a sec

**Little Shih Tzu:** you deserved that

**Marik:** but marik never deserves it

**Not The King Of Games:** never talk in third person

**Not The King Of Games:** only i am legally allowed to do that

**Tristan:** again i feel like hes not joking

**Homunculus:** mmhmm

**Little Shih Tzu:** you people know only the pharaoh can command tea right

**Téa:** end me

**Bottomless Stomach:** end you in a good way

**Téa:** anybody but bakura end me

**Bottomless Stomach:** does that include alter egos

**Téa:** heeeeell no

**Tristan:** its true though

**Not The King Of Games:** is it

**Téa:** its not

**Not The King Of Games:** but are you just saying that

**Téa:** i swear on bakuras life that its not true

**Homunculus:** that doesnt prove anything

**Bottomless Stomach:** hes right you know

**Marik:** i always win and tea always loses

**Tristan:** good for you marik

**Marik:** thanks tristan

**Tristan:** er

**Homunculus:** sarcasm impaired

**Téa:** bitch i won every one of my duels

**Téa:** you suck marik

**Little Shih Tzu:** yes he does

**Marik:** im sad now

**Tristan:** hes like a poor kitty now

**Tristan:** somebody pat the kitty

**Téa:** DONT

**Bottomless Stomach:** dammit

**Not The King Of Games:** huh

**Not The King Of Games:** maybe tea should be my new rival

**Homunculus:** WAIT A GOD DAMN MINUTE

**Téa:** i like this idea

**Homunculus:** NOOOOO

**Tristan:** its not like theyre gonna elope or anything

**Homunculus:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Little Shih Tzu:** maybe just about the worst thing you coulda said tristan

**Marik:** besides i am your father

**Teea:** i said no more quotes

**Marik:** aw

**Tristan:** is he breathing

**Bottomless Stomach:** paper bag

**Téa:** you kidding

**Téa:** he destroyed that ages ago

**Marik:** lung implant

**Not The King Of Games:** my people can take care of that

**Bottomless Stomach:** okay now youre making it sound like a shadow game

**Little Shih Tzu:** yug needs to be all lungs for that to be worthwhile

**Tristan:** that sounds expensive

**Téa:** how long would that take

**Not The King Of Games:** ill find out

**Téa:** good

**Bottomless Stomach:** wouldve thought youd hate the idea tea

**Téa:** why

**Téa:** oh

**Bottomless Stomach:** dont worry

**Bottomless Stomach:** i can be your backup plan

**Téa:** will it never end

**Bottomless Stomach:** it never does

**Téa:** my god

**Not The King Of Games:** if i cancel a meeting can we duel tea

**Téa:** sure

**Homunculus:** NOT

**Homunculus:** HELPING

**Bottomless Stomach:** paper bag

**Homunculus:** THEY DO NOT WORK

**Little Shih Tzu:** pubertys still goin


	16. Ballin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Jim Jones’ “We Fly High” and I suddenly thought of Marik trying to decipher the lyrics. Which would be harder than reading the glyphs on his back.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Marik:** what is ballin

 **Little Shih Tzu:** not this shit again

 **Homunculus:** pot calling kettle black

 **Little Shih Tzu:** what

 **Not The King Of Games:** he doesnt understand metaphors

 **Little Shih Tzu:** i do too

 **Little Shih Tzu:** just not this one

 **Not The King Of Games:** stupidity wins again

 **Tristan:** stupidity always wins

 **Bottomless Stomach:** and hormones

 **Téa:** okaaaaay

 **Téa:** marik please repeat the question

 **Marik:** what is ballin

 **Homunculus:** can you use it in a sentence

 **Marik:** i just did

 **Marik:** i asked what is ballin

 **Bottomless Stomach:** are you listening to rap again

 **Marik:** maybe

 **Bottomless Stomach:** you know itll melt your brain

 **Marik:** well maybe i want my brain melted

 **Homunculus:** youre not serious

 **Tristan:** he might be

 **Little Shih Tzu:** if he wants to melt his brains just let him do it

 **Not The King Of Games:** the most sensible thing youve ever said

 **Not The King Of Games:** let me provide you with a kaibacorp recommended list of songs to speed up the brain melting process

 **Téa:** is that a kaibacorp mix or from your own personal collection

 **Tristan:** god forbid

 **Homunculus:** marik try some other music genre

 **Marik:** like what

 **Homunculus:** i dont know

 **Homunculus:** smooth jazz

 **Bottomless Stomach:** only you would suggest something worse

 **Little Shih Tzu:** didnt see you makin suggestions

 **Bottomless Stomach:** okay fine

 **Bottomless Stomach:** his giant hair

 **Not The King Of Games:** and ego

 **Homunculus:** pots and kettles

 **Bottomless Stomach:** thank you kaiba

 **Bottomless Stomach:** his giant hair and ego demands metal

 **Marik:** i like this

 **Tristan:** try opera

 **Téa:** tristan stop

 **Little Shih Tzu:** ballads

 **Homunculus:** i really hope this isnt for karaoke

 **Marik:** thats a great idea

 **Homunculus:** im burning in hell

 **Not The King Of Games:** finally

 **Téa:** can we get back to ballin

 **Bottomless Stomach:** i like this

 **Téa:** fuuuuuuuuuuck

 **Bottomless Stomach:** that too

 **Homunculus:** stop hitting on her

 **Bottomless Stomach:** why

 **Homunculus:** you have a fan club that is every female in domino city

 **Bottomless Stomach:** your point

 **Marik:** what is ballin

 **Little Shih Tzu:** you sure you wanna tell him

 **Tristan:** everyone else is corrupting him so why not

 **Little Shih Tzu:** good point

 **Marik:** yay learning

 **Not The King Of Games:** oh god hes a fucking manchild

 **Téa:** you only just figured that out

 **Not The King Of Games:** yes

 **Not The King Of Games:** mostly from blotting him out before

 **Téa:** okay thats fair

 **Tristan:** so marik

 **Marik:** thats me

 **Homunculus:** why do i feel like he deserves a sitcom

 **Téa:** dont keep distracting him with more stupid

 **Little Shih Tzu:** you mean like he is anyway

 **Téa:** stop answering me with flawless logic

 **Little Shih Tzu:** you started it

 **Tristan:** marik

 **Marik:** i am still here and patiently listening

 **Tristan:** good

 **Tristan:** so ballin is when youve got lots of money and expensive stuff and ladies

 **Homunculus:** basically pimping

 **Marik:** wow

 **Marik:** can i be that

 **Not The King Of Games:** get in line

 **Bottomless Stomach:** minus the ladies

 **Homunculus:** he pimps cards

 **Téa:** i thought bakura was the pimp

 **Bottomless Stomach:** i am

 **Not The King Of Games:** what we cant have two pimps

 **Téa:** ugh


	17. The Littlest Cowboy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why does picking on Yugi in this always lead to picking on poor Téa?

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Little Shih Tzu:** yug you thought about spurs on your boots

 **Homunculus:** not this again

 **Tristan:** again

 **Marik:** what is this again

 **Marik:** do you want to be a cowboy

 **Homunculus:** not particularly

 **Not The King Of Games:** the littlest cowboy

 **Téa:** my littlest cowboy

 **Homunculus:** gee thanks for making me sound like a hasbro toy

 **Téa:** oh shush you love it

 **Homunculus:** beings yours yes

 **Homunculus:** the cowboy thing not so much

 **Bottomless Stomach:** tea you want him in chaps

 **Marik:** just chaps

 **Not The King Of Games:** thank you for the nightmares marik

 **Marik:** which ones

 **Not The King Of Games:** all of them

 **Téa:** are they leather

 **Bottomless Stomach:** of course they are

 **Marik:** patent leather

 **Bottomless Stomach:** yes that

 **Téa:** hmm

 **Little Shih Tzu:** careful or kaibas nightmare fuel will overload

 **Tristan:** what does that even mean

 **Little Shih Tzu:** and teas fangirling fuel

 **Téa:** hey

 **Marik:** ewwwwww

 **Téa:** shut up marik

 **Marik:** okay

 **Homunculus:** am i okay with tea picturing me in shiny leather chaps

 **Bottomless Stomach:** you should be

 **Not The King Of Games:** is everybody else okay with tea picturing you in shiny leather chaps

 **Not The King Of Games:** because im not

 **Téa:** deal with it

 **Marik:** am i okay with picturing tea picturing you in shiny leather chaps

 **Tristan:** only you know that

 **Marik:** i do

 **Not The King Of Games:** am i okay with picturing tea

 **Tristan:** make them stop

 **Téa:** would if i could

 **Homunculus:** KAIBA NO

 **Bottomless Stomach:** kaiba yes

 **Téa:** picturing me how kaiba

 **Little Shih Tzu:** dressed up like a fetishy blue eyes

 **Not The King Of Games:** well now i cant picture anything else

 **Marik:** like saying elephants makes you think of elephants

 **Not The King Of Games:** exactly

 **Tristan:** seriously what

 **Tristan:** joey im gonna punch you next time i see you

 **Little Shih Tzu:** you do that already

 **Tristan:** but this time itll hurt

 **Téa:** im no longer okay with anything

 **Homunculus:** me neither

 **Not The King Of Games:** suck it up

 **Tristan:** all of you suck up my fists

 **Marik:** how does one do that

 **Bottomless Stomach:** through a silly straw

 **Marik:** i like this

 **Homunculus:** i hate all of this and all of you

 **Téa:** not me though

 **Homunculus:** no not you

 **Not The King Of Games:** you will when i describe what im imagining right now

 **Homunculus:** KAIBA

 **Little Shih Tzu:** you gonna punch him yug

 **Tristan:** you being serious

 **Bottomless Stomach:** is anybody serious

 **Marik:** me

 **Homunculus:** i highly doubt that

 **Not The King Of Games:** everybody kick everybodys ass and get it out of your system

 **Not The King Of Games:** i shall sell overpriced tickets and build an area around you all

 **Tristan:** that fast

 **Téa:** its kaiba remember

 **Téa:** why do you keep forgetting he can build and buy anything

 **Tristan:** poverty amnesia

 **Little Shih Tzu:** what the fuck is that

 **Not The King Of Games:** you should know

 **Bottomless Stomach:** will everybody be in blue eyes outfits kaiba

 **Not The King Of Games:** i like this idea

 **Little Shih Tzu:** oh god whatd i say whyd i say it

 **Tristan:** dumbass

 **Homunculus:** ALL OF YOU STOP USING YOUR IMAGINATIONS

 **Marik:** do you mean permanently

 **Homunculus:** preferably

 **Marik:** itll be hard but ill try my best

 **Bottomless Stomach:** thank ra somebodys trying around here

 **Homunculus:** im squinting at you


	18. Piracy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Mako.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**_Homunculus_ ** _added **Mako** to the group_

**Téa:** is this a challenge

 **Homunculus:** nope

 **Téa:** feels like a challenge

 **Homunculus:** its not i swear

 **Not The King Of Games:** you cant blame her

 **Not The King Of Games:** considering all of the shit you pull

 **Homunculus:** what shit

 **Bottomless Stomach:** use your time machine

 **Homunculus:** oh god dont you even start

 **Marik:** dont you mean oh ra

 **Little Shih Tzu:** mako come quick and witness blood

 **Tristan:** shut up joey

 **Mako:** blood what blood

 **Téa:** dear lord

 **Not The King Of Games:** there are no fish here

 **Not The King Of Games:** so fuck off back under the sea

 **Not The King Of Games:** weak ass duellist

 **Téa:** you need to calm your tits

 **Marik:** who is mako

 **Bottomless Stomach:** fish duellist

 **Little Shih Tzu:** freaky fish guy

 **Little Shih Tzu:** ooh quick change his name to that

 **Homunculus:** you do and you die

 **Little Shih Tzu:** i scared

 **Not The King Of Games:** weak ass duellist

 **Little Shih Tzu:** go back to hell with your adopted pa and bro

 **Tristan:** wow

 **Téa:** why all the blood and death threats suddenly

 **Not The King Of Games:** you invited mako

 **Téa:** what

 **Mako:** im sorry

 **Mako:** you can send me away

 **Little Shih Tzu:** back to king triton

 **Homunculus:** no stay

 **Téa:** yeah its fine mako

 **Téa:** bring some normality to this group

 **Mako:** alright

 **Marik:** are you a pirate

 **Mako:** im a fisherman

 **Marik:** whos also a pirate

 **Mako:** no

 **Tristan:** you got piracy from that

 **Little Shih Tzu:** shit i shouldve made peter pan jokes

 **Bottomless Stomach:** tea

 **Téa:** oh no what now

 **Bottomless Stomach:** star wars quotes are taboo but disney is okay

 **Not The King Of Games:** weak ass duellist

 **Tristan:** will you stop

 **Not The King Of Games:** not even if you say please

 **Homunculus:** EVERYBODY CALM THEIR TITS

 **Homunculus:** metaphorically i mean

 **Bottomless Stomach:** even tea

 **Téa:** shut up

 **Bottomless Stomach:** mwahahaha

 **Marik:** you should be a pirate fisherman

 **Mako:** why

 **Homunculus:** dont ask

 **Not The King Of Games:** ignore him like everybody else

 **Marik:** ishizu doesnt ignore me

 **Marik:** she just needs to read in quiet sometimes

 **Little Shih Tzu:** regularly

 **Teea:** dare i ask us to get back to piracy

 **Not The King Of Games:** i invented piracy

 **Tristan:** i believe that

 **Homunculus:** i dont

 **Homunculus:** i bet it was your dad and you stole and pretended you invented it

 **Not The King Of Games:** take that back

 **Homunculus:** or what

 **Téa:** just get your round of duel links over and come back

 **Homunculus:** yeah

 **Not The King Of Games:** ill beat you this time

 **Tristan:** good luck with that

 **Téa:** ugh finally some relative peace and quiet

 **Little Shih Tzu:** im torn

 **Little Shih Tzu:** do i watch their duel or mako talking to marik

 **Bottomless Stomach:** which one involves blood

 **Mako:** why all this talk of blood

 **Téa:** we told you not to ask

 **Mako:** alright

 **Tristan:** god its boring without the constant rivalry

 **Little Shih Tzu:** true

 **Mako:** i do have a question that needs answering though

 **Téa:** okay you get one so fire away

 **Mako:** who is marik by the way


	19. Rich Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of my _Duel Links_ PvPs end with server crashes. Thank you, internet!

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Homunculus:** were back

 **Téa:** who won

 **Not The King Of Games:** me

 **Téa:** no seriously

 **Not The King Of Games:** the server crashed

 **Little Shih Tzu:** suuuuuuuuure it did

 **Not The King Of Games:** the one time i tell the truth and nobody believes me

 **Marik:** same

 **Homunculus:** one time

 **Not The King Of Games:** shut up

 **Bottomless Stomach:** since when does that work

 **Not The King Of Games:** never but i refuse to give up

 **Tristan:** except every time you cheat during a duel with yugi

 **Téa:** is it just me or does this sound like something all duellists say

 **Mako:** sounds about right

 **Little Shih Tzu:** huh guess they do

 **Homunculus:** what horse shit

 **Téa:** yugi

 **Homunculus:** what

 **Téa:** youre the biggest liar here

 **Homunculus:** just because i hid behind an ancient spirit for years

 **Little Shih Tzu:** we all mean using high heels to get on adult rides

 **Tristan:** lying about your age to see movies free

 **Marik:** i saw you put on a fake moustache to see adult movies

 **Little Shih Tzu:** wait what movie yug

 **Homunculus:** id tell you but tea is glaring at me

 **Homunculus:** i think i might die

 **Not The King Of Games:** about time

 **Homunculus:** noooo im too cute to die

 **Téa:** that is true

 **Bottomless Stomach:** just hard spanking then i take it

 **Téa:** goooooooood make him stop

 **Little Shih Tzu:** whend you visit marik

 **Marik:** last week

 **Tristan:** how

 **Marik:** ishizu likes it here so we visit a lot

 **Téa:** that explains everything

 **Bottomless Stomach:** and you dont visit me

 **Bottomless Stomach:** im hurt

 **Marik:** sorry

 **Little Shih Tzu:** whyd he visit you

 **Tristan:** for figurine painting

 **Bottomless Stomach:** yes

 **Little Shih Tzu:** is that it

 **Marik:** this sounds like fun

 **Marik:** next time i come i want to paint

 **Téa:** try not to paint yourself though okay

 **Marik:** no promises

 **Homunculus:** what the hell is any of this

 **Not The King Of Games:** its called a mutiny

 **Not The King Of Games:** look it up

 **Little Shih Tzu:** what in the kaibacorp guidebook

 **Marik:** theres a guidebook

 **Mako:** theyre not wrong

 **Homunculus:** what

 **Homunculus:** even you mako

 **Mako:** im neither denying nor agreeing to anything

 **Homunculus:** but you said

 **Mako:** i did

 **Homunculus:** ugh

 **Not The King Of Games:** never knew you could get so dishonest yugi

 **Not The King Of Games:** im almost proud of you

 **Homunculus:** really

 **Not The King Of Games:** almost

 **Téa:** you knew it was too good to be true

 **Homunculus:** yeah

 **Little Shih Tzu:** wait you wanna be his friend

 **Little Shih Tzu:** fuckin why even

 **Tristan:** money

 **Bottomless Stomach:** women

 **Marik:** motorcycles

 **Mako:** boats

 **Homunculus:** cards

 **Téa:** how is this friendship

 **Not The King Of Games:** its rich friendship

 **Téa:** dont even try and make me want to take notes

 **Téa:** or be friends with you

 **Not The King Of Games:** you know you want to

 **Téa:** no

 **Not The King Of Games:** if i wave money in front of your nose will you change your mind

 **Téa:** how much money

 **Téa:** i mean no

 **Not The King Of Games:** a gillion dollar note

 **Téa:** why do i feel like this is an obvious scam

 **Mako:** is there such a thing as a subtle scam

 **Bottomless Stomach:** with him anything is possible

 **Homunculus:** wait are you the one who sends all those scam emails

 **Tristan:** if you have to ask

 **Not The King Of Games:** im neither denying nor agreeing to anything

 **Mako:** dont just copy what i said

 **Not The King Of Games:** im neither denying nor agreeing to anything tm

 **Not The King Of Games:** and i get Mokuba to do all my scamming


	20. Drug Cakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drug cakes or magic stomach? Which one’s telling the truth about Bakura?

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Little Shih Tzu: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Bottomless Stomach:** kaiba

**Not The King Of Games:** yes

**Bottomless Stomach:** you ever thought of going into the compliment business

**Little Shih Tzu:** the fuck is that

**Not The King Of Games:** for once snoopy is right

**Little Shih Tzu:** SNOOPY THE HELL

**_Homunculus_ ** _changed **Little Shih Tzu** to **Snoopy**_

**Snoopy:** why is everybody my enemy

**Not The King Of Games:** stop asking why and accept it

**Snoopy:** noooo

**Mako:** itll be easier that way

**Snoopy:** i dont want toooooo

**Tristan:** do it for mai

**Snoopy:** stoooop

**Homunculus:** bakura is compliment business even a thing

**Marik:** it sounds wonderful

**Téa:** quick marik make it a thing and copyright it

**Tristan:** before kaiba does

**Not The King Of Games:** i dont want that

**Not The King Of Games:** it sounds vomit inducing

**Bottomless Stomach:** im in the amateur compliment business

**Téa:** trying to pimp me is not a compliment

**Bottomless Stomach:** i know

**Bottomless Stomach:** thats why i keep hitting on you instead

**Homunculus:** do you even hear yourself

**Bottomless Stomach:** its a sexy accent isnt it

**Snoopy:** you sound like youve had too many tea enemas

**Bottomless Stomach:** tea enema you say

**Téa:** ugh

**Homunculus:** please stop

**Tristan:** aaaaand hes hit a new weird

**Téa:** bakura have you been eating those yummy drug cakes again

**Mako:** drug cakes

**Mako:** im sorry but what

**Homunculus:** what the fuck are drug cakes

**Bottomless Stomach:** cakes with drugs in them

**Not The King Of Games:** self explanatory dumbshit

**Homunculus:** says the king of dumbshits

**Marik:** im in the presence of so much royalty today

**Téa:** ohhh god marik one day

**Snoopy:** gotta work on your insults yug

**Tristan:** joey stop giving advice youre not a good example

**Mako:** accurate

**Snoopy:** excuuuuuuse all you superior types but im good at names

**Snoopy:** freaky fish guy for example

**Mako:** not this again

**Homunculus:** more interesting topic

**Homunculus:** what drugs

**Téa:** second

**Not The King Of Games:** you would agree with him

**Téa:** whats that supposed to mean

**Not The King Of Games:** nothing

**Téa:** better be bitch

**Snoopy:** uh nuh you dint

**Tristan:** bakura give snoopy a cake

**Bottomless Stomach:** can do

**Snoopy:** hey

**Mako:** thanks yugi for getting away from that topic of weird and diving us into another one

**Homunculus:** youre welcome

**Homunculus:** you might deserve a lot of things but thats not one of them

**Mako:** wait what things why what did i do

**Not The King Of Games:** excellent

**Not The King Of Games:** when hes weakened then you strike

**Teea:** kaiba did you eat one of those cakes

**Not The King Of Games:** i ate A cake

**Homunculus:** DRUGS

**Tristan:** that isnt addicty at all

**Homunculus:** i mean i wanna know what drugs they are

**Bottomless Stomach:** theyre the leafy kind yugi

**Marik:** like carrots

**Mako:** um

**Mako:** how are carrots leafy

**Not The King Of Games:** is that the definition of a carrot

**Not The King Of Games:** leafy

**Marik:** i dont know

**Marik:** im just guessing cause ive never eaten a carrot before

**Bottomless Stomach:** ill give you tins of carrots next time youre here

**Téa:** you know thatll confuse him more right

**Bottomless Stomach:** yep

**Téa:** well okay

**Homunculus:** is kaiba going into the high or coming out of it

**Tristan:** kinda looks the same

**Homunculus:** huh guess so

**Snoopy:** i wanna say this explains the eatin thing but it kinda doesnt

**Marik:** we must accept bakura has a magic stomach and leave it at that

**Homunculus:** cant work out if that was the most stupid or profound thing ive ever heard

**Bottomless Stomach:** how about shadow realm stomach

**Homunculus:** okay that ones just stupid

**Not The King Of Games:** you have weird buttons yugi


	21. Social Experiment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to see _Trading Places_ starring Kaiba and Joey.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Snoopy: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Tristan:** you know what would be fun

 **Téa:** scared to ask

 **Marik:** also scared

 **Mako:** slightly scared

 **Snoopy:** intrigued

 **Not The King Of Games:** this should be good

 **Homunculus:** which one of yous being sarcastic

 **Bottomless Stomach:** dont think even they know anymore

 **Homunculus:** most likely

 **Snoopy:** whatcha got tristan

 **Tristan:** social experiment

 **Tristan:** kinda like trading places

 **Homunculus:** that sounds insane

 **Tristan:** no no hear me out

 **Téa:** with who though

 **Mako:** i think i can guess

 **Marik:** i cant

 **Marik:** can i have clues

 **Bottomless Stomach:** marik you know clues are a way of cheating

 **Bottomless Stomach:** so yes

 **Snoopy:** theyre not cheatin theyre helpers

 **Tristan:** you would say that

 **Not The King Of Games:** get on with it tristan

 **Snoopy:** holy shit he used your actual name

 **Homunculus:** thats some kind of honour

 **Téa:** will you all shut up and let tristan do his thing

 **Homunculus:** yes

 **Snoopy:** i agree

 **Téa:** ugh

 **Tristan:** i wanna see kaiba and joey swap lives

 **Snoopy:** what

 **Not The King Of Games:** what is this load of bullshit

 **Bottomless Stomach:** interesting

 **Not The King Of Games:** no not interesting

 **Not The King Of Games:** i hate it

 **Marik:** but youd have no money

 **Téa:** marik please read that back to yourself

 **Marik:** i did

 **Marik:** i stand by it

 **Mako:** explain please

 **Bottomless Stomach:** are you talking about removing the burden of money

 **Marik:** yes

 **Bottomless Stomach:** thats not a real thing

 **Not The King Of Games:** glad somebody told him

 **Téa:** im so curious how poor kaiba would be

 **Homunculus:** please god not joey with all that money

 **Snoopy:** hmm startin to like this

 **Snoopy:** all the good shit i could buy

 **Not The King Of Games:** fuck off hobo

 **Mako:** you mean ex hobo

 **Not The King Of Games:** you fuck off too fish boy

 **Téa:** whoa take your valium or whatever downer you kids are doing these days

 **Mako:** kids

 **Marik:** tea are you older than everybody

 **Bottomless Stomach:** old people are experienced

 **Téa:** bakura

 **Bottomless Stomach:** yes light of my life

 **Téa:** take some valium too

 **Mako:** are you sure he isnt already on them full time

 **Téa:** good point

 **Marik:** can i have some

 **Bottomless Stomach:** no

 **Marik:** aw

 **Téa:** i think joey might need some

 **Bottomless Stomach:** i agree

 **Bottomless Stomach:** but he can get his own

 **Snoopy:** with all my millions

 **Not The King Of Games:** fuck no

 **Snoopy:** fuck yeah

 **Homunculus:** how long would this swap thing go on tristan

 **Tristan:** im thinking maybe a day and see how it goes

 **Homunculus:** you realise they might kill each other in a day

 **Not The King Of Games:** half a day

 **Mako:** thats impressive

 **Tristan:** yeah i realise that

 **Homunculus:** good just wanted to make sure

 **Téa:** yugi

 **Homunculus:** what

 **Homunculus:** itd solve a lot of problems

 **Bottomless Stomach:** it really would

 **Marik:** the burden of money is a real thing

 **Not The King Of Games:** only poor people say that

 **Mako:** true

 **Téa:** not helping fish boy

 **Mako:** hey

 **Téa:** you started it

 **Tristan:** is kaiba rubbing off on you

 **Téa:** god i hope not

 **Not The King Of Games:** god i hope so

 **Homunculus:** god

 **Homunculus:** just god


	22. More Bad Ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More bad ideas...because they haven't had enough already.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Snoopy: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**Téa:** its a bad idea

 **Homunculus:** i know

 **Téa:** then why

 **Homunculus:** dont think about it too hard

 **Téa:** im not i just want to know why

 **Homunculus:** dont worry

 **Téa:** you say that and now im worried

 **Mako:** whats the problem

 **Homunculus:** i want to get atem in on this chat

 **Not The King Of Games:** for duelling

 **Homunculus:** no

 **Not The King Of Games:** then theres no point

 **Snoopy:** up yours he was a good friend

 **Tristan:** joey stop defending

 **Snoopy:** someones gotta

 **Tristan:** but you know kaiba doesnt give a shit

 **Not The King Of Games:** listen to your slightly less stupid friend

 **Téa:** slightly

 **Tristan:** huh that was almost a compliment

 **Homunculus:** dont make it okay tristan

 **Homunculus:** be nice kaiba or atems not coming back

 **Not The King Of Games:** i dont care unless i can duel him

 **Marik:** please dont bring back the pharaoh

 **Marik:** he hates me

 **Téa:** he does not

 **Téa:** just got a little upset when you were evil

 **Marik:** protect meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Tristan:** marik calm down

 **Homunculus:** he doesnt mind crush anymore

 **Marik:** ohhh ra what is that

 **Snoopy:** maybe shouldnt have mentioned that

 **Homunculus:** probably yeah

 **Bottomless Stomach:** he still hates me

 **Téa:** will you all stop with the hating

 **Not The King Of Games:** more hating

 **Téa:** you shut up

 **Tristan:** yeah somehow he forgives us all

 **Not The King Of Games:** and thats why hes weak and dead

 **Homunculus:** youre talking about someone who saved the world twice and beat you in duels every time

 **Not The King Of Games:** i stand by what i said

 **Bottomless Stomach:** back on the denial train

 **Téa:** you make it sound like we got off

 **Bottomless Stomach:** i know i did

 **Téa:** ugggggggggggggggh

 **Mako:** im so confused

 **Not The King Of Games:** which part

 **Mako:** not

 **Mako:** whatever all of that is

 **Mako:** i mean have i met the pharaoh

 **Homunculus:** you duelled him on pegasus island

 **Téa:** so you wanna see him

 **Mako:** god no hell kick my ass again

 **Mako:** im outta here when he comes

 **Snoopy:** the hell

 **Not The King Of Games:** rude

 **Homunculus:** really kaiba

 **Not The King Of Games:** at least i do it with stylish elan

 **Bottomless Stomach:** he does

 **Mako:** whats the problem

 **Mako:** i wanna fish anyway

 **Bottomless Stomach:** youre good with excuses

 **Mako:** yes i am

 **Snoopy:** do you do anythin else

 **Mako:** not really no

 **Marik:** why dont we all go fishing

 **Homunculus:** wow so now nobody wants to see atem

 **Téa:** i do

 **Homunculus:** might as well cancel

 **Téa:** I DO DAMMIT

 **Not The King Of Games:** i want to only if i can duel him

 **Marik:** can you bring back everyone dead from the past

 **Tristan:** shit thats dark

 **Homunculus:** no only atem

 **Téa:** wow

 **Bottomless Stomach:** double wow

 **Snoopy:** bring back gozaburo

 **Not The King Of Games:** DONT YOU FUCKING DARE


	23. Indoor Voice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s Atem time!
> 
> Imagine that in Horstachio’s voice.

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Snoopy: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

**_**Homunculus** _ ** _added_ **_**Atem** _ ** _to the group_

****Mako:**** thats my cue

**_**Mako** _ ** _has left the group_

****Snoopy:**** he wasnt kiddin

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** you just assumed he was

 ** **Homunculus:**** were already off to a great start of making joey look like an idiot

 ** **Téa:**** like he needs help

 ** **Snoopy:**** hey

 ** **Tristan:**** you know everything she says to you is a lie

 ** **Snoopy:**** double hey

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** more of this

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** it pleases me

 ** **Atem:**** HELLO FRIENDS

 ** **Homunculus:**** hey atem

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** DUEEEEEL MEEEEEEEEEEEE PHARAAAAAOOOOOOOOOH

 ** **Atem:**** NOT NOW

 ** **Tristan:**** starting early huh

 ** **Homunculus:**** cut it out kaiba

 ** **Téa:**** welcome back atem

 ** **Snoopy:**** yo

 ** **Atem:**** ITS GOOD TO BE BACK

 ** **Téa:**** very good

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** pots and kettles

 ** **Téa:**** shhh

 ** **Homunculus:**** um atem

 ** **Atem:**** WHAT IS IT

 ** **Homunculus:**** do you have caps lock on

 ** **Atem:**** YES

 ** **Atem:**** I THINK

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** dear god hes a cretin

 ** **Snoopy:**** you got yo ass whooped by a cretin

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** i hate when you use logic

 ** **Tristan:**** but kaiba arent you made of pure logic

 ** **Marik:**** like a robot

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** please turn all caps off

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** they hurt to read

 ** **Atem:**** HOW DO I DO THAT

 ** **Téa:**** yugi did you ever actually show him how to use a computer

 ** **Tristan:**** youd think being in his body wouldve made him a whizz

 ** **Homunculus:**** i taught him nothing

 ** **Atem:**** EXCEPT KINDNESS

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** that shit is useless

 ** **Snoopy:**** too busy savin the world

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** and spending time with your left hand

 ** **Homunculus:**** excuuuuuuse me i use my right

 ** **Marik:**** i thought everybody could use both

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** they can

 ** **Téa:**** too much info

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** thats usually a cry for more

 ** **Téa:**** not going there

 ** **Atem:**** SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT AND WHERE IS ALLCAPS

 ** **Tristan:**** bro you need an indoor voice

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** that is his indoor voice

 ** **Téa:**** cut him some slack

 ** **Snoopy:**** look at the keyboard pharaoh

 ** **Atem:**** WHAT

 ** **Homunculus:**** learn from joey

 ** **Homunculus:**** learn to turn off all caps

 ** **Homunculus:**** for the love of ra

 ** **Tristan:**** says you

 ** **Homunculus:**** i use them with good reason

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** for insults

 ** **Homunculus:**** yes

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** best use of everything

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** close but no

 ** **Snoopy:**** hey yug

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** oh god its talking again

 ** **Snoopy:**** did you inherit all caps from atem

 ** **Marik:**** or the other way around

 ** **Homunculus:**** marik

 ** **Marik:**** but you can time travel

 ** **Snoopy:**** hes got you there

 ** **Homunculus:**** oh shit he has

 ** **Tristan:**** does that make yugi his own grandpa or some wacko shit like that

 ** **Téa:**** it explains a lot about your grandpa yugi

 ** **Homunculus:**** stop logicing at me

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** more

 ** **Marik:**** more what

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** more of everything happening right now

 ** **Atem:**** IM CONFUSED

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** what else is new

 ** **Snoopy:**** didnt know all caps could transcend time

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** you know everything can transcend time if you believe in the heart of the cards and friendship

 ** **Homunculus:**** okay fuck you for that

 ** **Téa:**** fuck you too

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** really

 ** **Tristan:**** okay bakura stop now

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** no bakura keep shitting on their beliefs

 ** **Bottomless Stomach:**** can do

 ** **Marik:**** thats a little mean

 ** **Snoopy:**** when does it become a lot marik

 ** **Marik:**** i dont know

 ** **Marik:**** im not an expert at being mean

 ** **Atem:**** HELP

 ** **Homunculus:**** god damn it

 ** **Atem:**** HOW DO I TURN THEM OFF

 ** **Homunculus:**** YOU JUST TURN THEM OFF

 ** **Homunculus:**** YOU TURN OFF THE FUCKING ALLCAPS

 ** **Marik:**** duelling all caps

 ** **Not The King Of Games:**** DUELLING

 ** **Téa:**** not you too

 ** **Téa:**** give it a rest kaiba


	24. Pharaoh Humour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this and then it’s done!

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Snoopy: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

****Homunculus:**** okay

****Homunculus:**** i helped him and i think hes got it now

****Atem:**** HAVE I

****Homunculus:**** god damn it

****Atem:**** i kid

****Snoopy:**** you fell for it

****Snoopy:**** high five bro

****Atem:**** high five

****Homunculus:**** argh

****Homunculus:**** high five you with a chair

****Not The King Of Games:**** do it

****Homunculus:**** double argh

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** you deserve that a lil yugi

****Homunculus:**** how

****Not The King Of Games:**** i agree

****Tristan:**** you would

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** sometimes you need humiliation

****Marik:**** that is true

****Tristan:**** marik what the

****Marik:**** i mean it

****Tristan:**** i dont doubt that but what the

****Homunculus:**** why

****Not The King Of Games:**** youre starting to sound like me tea

****Not The King Of Games:**** i take back anything bad i might have said about you

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** what things

****Not The King Of Games:**** i said might

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** fess up

****Not The King Of Games:**** no

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** i can make you

****Marik:**** how

****Snoopy:**** god wheres this goin

****Tristan:**** dont wanna know

****Bottomless Stomach:**** tea everyone but me said bad things about you

****Tristan:**** what youve said bad things

****Bottomless Stomach:**** at her not about her

****Marik:**** is that a distinction

****Snoopy:**** yeah

****Atem:**** ive never said anything bad about or to you

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** sure why not

****Atem:**** have i

****Homunculus:**** oh god now theres doubt

****Not The King Of Games:**** you rubbed off on him entirely the wrong way

****Bottomless Stomach:**** theres a right way

****Marik:**** how

****Snoopy:**** repeat wheres this goin

****Tristan:**** again i dont wanna know

****Atem:**** what

****Snoopy:**** ignore him like always

****Atem:**** alright

****Not The King Of Games:**** pay attention to me peasant

****Marik:**** but isnt he king

****Atem:**** not as literal as king but yes i am

****Not The King Of Games:**** no

****Homunculus:**** kaiba you cant just say no and expect you to be right

****Not The King Of Games:**** says who

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** the laws of physics maybe

****Marik:**** wait

****Snoopy:**** shit

****Snoopy:**** dont tell me he bought those too

****Tristan:**** probably

****Not The King Of Games:**** damn right

****Homunculus:**** youre impossible

****Marik:**** like the mighty triangle

****Atem:**** what

****Bottomless Stomach:**** youre an expert surely

****Atem:**** i am very confused

****Not The King Of Games:**** is that why you died

****Tristan:**** of confusion

****Not The King Of Games:**** yes

****Homunculus:**** kaiba

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** im wondering how it actually went down last time

****Tristan:**** can we not go back

****Bottomless Stomach:**** into the time machine

****Marik:**** hooray

****Homunculus:**** its long and tedious and nobody gets to ride the machine

****Not The King Of Games:**** my machine

****Homunculus:**** his machine

****Homunculus:**** that is now mine

****Not The King Of Games:**** you shrimpy little shit

****Homunculus:**** sorry im not the descendant of fucking trees kaiba

****Marik:**** we could be trees

****Tristan:**** what

****Marik:**** well i was looking at this tree of life theory

****Tristan:**** bakura stop giving marik science

****Tristan:**** its bad for him

****Bottomless Stomach:**** you make it sound like thats the worst science i give

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** dont

****Bottomless Stomach:**** one day youll let me

****Atem:**** what science is that

****Snoopy:**** right you died before you understood sex

****Tristan:**** here we go

****Atem:**** oh

****Atem:**** that

****Marik:**** are you more or less aware than yugi of it

****Atem:**** well im not sure

****Atem:**** if i had to guess than probably more

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** yugi did you just get outed by yourself

****Homunculus:**** i believe i did

****Atem:**** im not you

****Not The King Of Games:**** yeah yugi sucks ass at card games

****Bottomless Stomach:**** he beat my evil twin

****Snoopy:**** twins

****Marik:**** how many evil twins do you have

****Bottomless Stomach:**** i have lost count

****Atem:**** does that include you

****Bottomless Stomach:**** it might

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** might as in what kaibas said about me

****Not The King Of Games:**** maybe

****T**** ** **é**** ** **a:**** ugh


	25. Time Button

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m amazed how quickly this story has come to a close. Seems like I started it only the other day. It’s been great fun ruining these characters the same way I have with my other group chats. Thank you everyone who supported this story. And you know this is the only way to end _Yu-Gi-Oh!_

Not The King Of Games: Kaiba

Homunculus: Yugi

Snoopy: Joey

Bottomless Stomach: Bakura

****Tristan:**** wait so atem howre you getting back home

****Atem:**** i have not thought that far ahead

****Marik:**** or behind

****Atem:**** which one applies to me

****Snoopy:**** er

****Snoopy:**** well

****Snoopy:**** hmm

****Not The King Of Games:**** you broke the mutts brain

****Homunculus:**** i wanna defend joey but its not hard to do that

****Snoopy:**** hey

****Homunculus:**** do you want me nice or honest

****Snoopy:**** i cant have both

****Not The King Of Games:**** you arent allowed anything

****Snoopy:**** aw

****Tristan:**** dont make him cry

****Snoopy:**** i dont cry

****Marik:**** pretend its allergies

****Snoopy:**** its allergies

****Snoopy:**** wait fuckin god dammit

****Marik:**** hehe

****Not The King Of Games:**** mwahaha foolish fool

****Snoopy:**** am not

****Bottomless Stomach:**** always go for behind atem

****Atem:**** hmm

****Téa:**** dear god

****Tristan:**** atem dont listen to him

****Bottomless Stomach:**** secretly youre enjoying that tea

****Homunculus:**** please stop hitting on her

****Tristan:**** hes harmless

****Homunculus:**** er no hes not

****Bottomless Stomach:**** im really not

****Marik:**** i concur

****Tristan:**** evil confirmed

****Homunculus:**** all of you stop

****Téa:**** please yes

****Not The King Of Games:**** is it okay if i do it

****Homunculus:**** NO

****Bottomless Stomach:**** yes to what

****Homunculus:**** STOP

****Not The King Of Games:**** since you asked

****Not The King Of Games:**** shant

****Homunculus:**** I MEAN IT

****Snoopy:**** is he okay

****Not The King Of Games:**** what a stupid question

****Atem:**** calm down little yugi

****Homunculus:**** WHY ARE YOU ALL TORMENTING ME

****Téa:**** yeah atem i dont think calling him little was a good idea

****Atem:**** my apologies

****Homunculus:**** oops

****Tristan:**** oops what oops

****Snoopy:**** yug

****Not The King Of Games:**** what did you do now cretin

****Téa:**** yugi what happened

****Homunculus:**** nothing

****Téa:**** yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggiiiiiiii

****Homunculus:**** okay okay i slammed my hand on the time machines button in my allcaps rage and now its kinda activated

****Marik:**** does that mean were going on an adventure

****Tristan:**** yes marik

****Marik:**** hooray

****Bottomless Stomach:**** quick marik pack us adventure kits

****Marik:**** yes sir

****Snoopy:**** shit you got him under your thumb

****Bottomless Stomach:**** indeed

****Tristan**** ** **:**** yugi wheres the time machine taking us

****Homunculus:**** i dont know

****Not The King Of Games:**** what do you mean

****Not The King Of Games:**** there is a screen with WORDS

****Not The King Of Games:**** READ IT

****Homunculus:**** STOP YELLING AT ME

****Homunculus:**** its not my fault

****Téa:**** well it kinda is

****Homunculus:**** oops

****Téa:**** thats all you can say

****Snoopy:**** what else is there

****Téa:**** good point

****Not The King Of Games:**** this better not take us to the future aliens or the multiverse

****Bottomless Stomach:**** god forbid

****Marik:**** you mean there could be more than one of me like before

****Tristan:**** that could be good or bad

****Marik:**** i agree

****Snoopy:**** please no multiple kaibas

****Snoopy:**** ones bad enough

****Tristan:**** youre forgetting kaibaman

****Bottomless Stomach:**** do alter egos count

****Homunculus:**** ours count dont they

****Atem:**** they do

****Marik:**** yes

****Homunculus:**** well

****Homunculus:**** fuck

****Not The King Of Games:**** dont make me hurt you all

****Snoopy:**** if i kill kaibaman does the other kaiba die

****Atem:**** we could test it

****Bottomless Stomach:**** can i watch

****Marik:**** sell tickets

****Not The King Of Games:**** i would approve the selling of tickets if it wasn’t me dying

****Atem:**** this isnt so bad

****Atem:**** i was ready to go home anyway

****Téa:**** pharaoh you dont even know what time were going to

****Not The King Of Games:**** nice to know stupidity is inherited

****Snoopy:**** and adopted

****Marik:**** mega burn

****Bottomless Stomach:**** dont convince him to set things on fire

****Tristan:**** thought you wouldve liked that

****Téa:**** well in case we all get torn apart by time bullshit

****Téa:**** i love you all

****Bottomless Stomach:**** even me

****Tristan:**** especially you

****Téa:**** TRISTAN

****Bottomless Stomach:**** can i have an answer before were possibly scattered by the aforementioned time bullshittery

****Téa:**** maybe

****Homunculus:**** i hope were in a god damn time without your HITTING ON MY GIRLFRIEND

****Atem:**** only time will tell

****Snoopy:**** yugs worst fear is us on an island where teas the only girl

****Téa:**** and now hes not breathing again

****Not The King Of Games:**** lets hope the time displacement erases all our memories

****Marik:**** time bullshittery

****Not The King Of Games:**** time bullshittery

****Not The King Of Games:**** trademark

****Bottomless Stomach:**** you cant trademark my trademark

****Bottomless Stomach:**** unless you throw millions of dollars at me

****Not The King Of Games:**** ill do it when we get back

****Snoopy:**** thats a no then

****Homunculus:**** I WANT A FUCKING BLACK HOLE TO SWALLOW US ALL

****Atem:**** one can only hope

****Tristan:**** man thats dark

****Bottomless Stomach:**** well he is a shadow games expert

****Atem:**** heh thats funny

****Snoopy:**** is that seriously the last joke before we maybe die

****Téa:**** its better than most now suck it up

****Homunculus:**** this is the worst idea i have ever had

****Not The King Of Games:**** youre finally seeing things clearly

****Homunculus:**** kaiba

****Not The King Of Games:**** yes

****Homunculus:**** no matter what time no matter what world or what people we were are or become

****Homunculus:**** you must know this one thing

****Not The King Of Games:**** and what is that

****Homunculus:**** i will always kick your ass at card games

**_Everyone_ ** _has left the group_


End file.
